The guardian

This page to me The guardian in the shadows was with him all the way. Just shows me that though Kyle seemed to be alone at the end He had his help too and his angels who helped him to cross over.

I can give up my guilt he was not alone
Love you Kyle Mom

My first round robin book pages

I sat to look at the two pages I have posted here this morning. I did them about 3 months ago for my first round robin. The symbolism made me burst into tears. Picking door number 1 .......... since door 2 is holding back tears. It is good to get it out I guess I hadn't realized that yet when I did the page. I want to look up the symbolism of fish (which is shown pushing on door 2 as if to open it) I am sure it means faith partially but I want to see what else the fish could stand for. My works of art are not thought out much (I knew the colors this page was to be and that was it) So I view them partially as messages to my self from my ......higher self.....my god.....my guides .....I believe there are messages that we need to heed ............often times I know I run from heeding them and always to my detriment. So as I grow from this life of mine I realize it is time to turn inwards/stay centered/ and listen. This is one of the gifts that life has given me.

I am grateful
Cindy

Stay centered

The guardian in the shadows was with him all the way

Gratitude

I pledge to recognize and be grateful for the Joys in my life.I was responding to a message in one of my Yahoo groups Questioning what your Souls vision was. In responding I realized that mine is to experience joy like when I was a child. The bad things can be so easy to focus on, but with a little shift in our focus ,our whole experience of the day changes. The day may start out the same but as we realize the good it seems to multiply (just as the bad can do) . Our brains can be powerful tools and as one of my best friends says to her add son "use that energy for good not evil". lol

My focus and I hope yours too is going to be on the positive today and as many days as I can manage.

Blessings to all
Cindy

become who you are meant to be

I have been wanting to volunteer at the Edmonton Youth Emergency Shelter (they helped Kyle immensly while he was living on the streets). I have the newsletter in my line of vision at my computer desk. Today I picked it up to see if the web address was on it and started reading a story about a girl they had helped. She is now completing her GED and has her eye on a career as an architect. In my mind I screamed ........Why not Kyle?? Why couldn't it be him? (the tears are flowing as I type this sentence) .
But the thing is that I got the answer, it is, "So you can become the person you were meant to be." I heard it clear as day, just as if Kyle were standing next to me as he said it. I don't even think it is crazy I trust that little voice and try to follow it. So though, I feel oh so guilty.

( I have been dealing with addiction issues my whole life. From being around an alcoholic father and the circus that, that can create. To trying to bury my own feelings when they overwhelm me. I have come along way in the last year in dealing with my personal addictions but there is work to be done yet. )

I will not let the guilt allow me to waste my life going backwards instead of forwards. For Kyles sake ...........who loved me Well........I vow to continue on this journey to help myself so that I may help others. Hopefully I will get to the shelter soon to help out. For Kyles sake and my own.

Love you Kiddo

mom

Here are two atcs I made this week. Kyle is the little leopard. The other card is Kyle with Cassie and says "there are angels among us"

missing you on mothers day

I misssed you yesterday Kyle.
A phone call would have been heavenly.
I didn't even realize I was missing you
until that young man grabbed his girls hand
In profile he resembled you
My world did a spin
a flop and my heart dropped
to the floor in that mall
on mothers day 2005
was his mother mad
he wasn't with her
or that he hadn't phoned?
I hope she never knows
how it could be
would be
if he were gone.
Our kids are not meant to go before us.