become who you are meant to be

I have been wanting to volunteer at the Edmonton Youth Emergency Shelter (they helped Kyle immensly while he was living on the streets). I have the newsletter in my line of vision at my computer desk. Today I picked it up to see if the web address was on it and started reading a story about a girl they had helped. She is now completing her GED and has her eye on a career as an architect. In my mind I screamed ........Why not Kyle?? Why couldn't it be him? (the tears are flowing as I type this sentence) .
But the thing is that I got the answer, it is, "So you can become the person you were meant to be." I heard it clear as day, just as if Kyle were standing next to me as he said it. I don't even think it is crazy I trust that little voice and try to follow it. So though, I feel oh so guilty.

( I have been dealing with addiction issues my whole life. From being around an alcoholic father and the circus that, that can create. To trying to bury my own feelings when they overwhelm me. I have come along way in the last year in dealing with my personal addictions but there is work to be done yet. )

I will not let the guilt allow me to waste my life going backwards instead of forwards. For Kyles sake ...........who loved me Well........I vow to continue on this journey to help myself so that I may help others. Hopefully I will get to the shelter soon to help out. For Kyles sake and my own.

Love you Kiddo

mom